A New Best Seller
by rividori
Summary: Thanks to Sakura, Kakashi's getting a lot more attention.


_This idea popped into my head and I just had to run with it!_

_

* * *

_Something was definitely up. Kakashi could tell as soon as he'd made his way into the heart of the village. There was giggling. Giggling that seemed directed at him. He wasn't too fussed about it. He had been working out lately. Perhaps they'd noticed? He then resisted the temptation to strut. It'd throw his whole persona out the window if he did that.

There was definitely something unsettling about this giggling, though. He looked over at a group of women. They looked at him, giggling, and then walked away. He was a little suspicious now.

He made his way to Ichiraku's where he saw Naruto. When Naruto turned to see him, he pointed his finger wildly at him. He opened his mouth to speak but he still had food in his mouth and as he inhaled, started choking on his noodles. Not really knowing what that was all about, Kakashi left him to deal with it on his own (he was cruel but fair)  
He started to make his way out until he was stopped by Gai.

"Kakashi, my eternal rival!" He exclaimed. "One woman's erotic adventures as a –"

Kakashi abruptly pulled a hand up in front of him. "Talk to the hand Gai, because you know damn well that the face ain't listening."

Gai looked stunned for a second, before bursting into laughter. "You've still got it! When we next meet, I will have an even wittier come back. Believe it!"

At this Naruto started choking on his ramen again and pointed a finger at Gai accusingly.

Outside Ichiraku's, Kakashi looked out over the street. He was about to move on his way when something caught his eye. A group of young women were huddled around something and giggling! He stopped to watch. One of the women looked up and spotted him. She opened her mouth in surprise and then nudged one of her friends. She looked up and soon all of them had their attention on Kakashi. The girl holding the object pointed towards him and then back at the thing she was holding, then gave him the thumbs up.

Kakashi was puzzled at that. He tried to make out what they were all looking at. He narrowed his eye at it and realised it was a book.

A book?

He tried to approach the women but a marching band suddenly came from nowhere and blocked his way. When they'd passed, the women had gone. That'd be right.

Feeling thoroughly freaked out now, he continued on his way. He saw girls passing with their noses buried in books. Some would look up at him and smile or blush.

Paranoia had set in.

Just when he was thinking of trying his sharingan to see if it could send _him _into another dimension, he saw unmistakable pink hair. His relief was short lived when he noticed she had one of those books too and seemed to be reading it out loud to Ino and the other girls.

"Sakura!" He said in a strangled yell, running up to her. "What the hell are you reading?"

Sakura looked up at him. "Oh hi. Yeah umm..." Sakura eyed her friends who were trying to stifle their laughs. Snorting out loud, Ino broke into hysterics. She'd lost it.

Kakashi gave her the weirdest look and then turned to Sakura.

"Jiraiya made it for me as a favour. I actually thought it was so darn good that we should start putting it into circulation. Wanna have a look?" She said, smile widening. She held the book out and Kakashi just stared at it. As if in slow motion, he reached his hand out and grasped it.

He opened it and turned to a page in the middle.

For a brief second, Kakashi thought he'd gone into cardiac arrest. The colour drained from his face so fast, he looked like Sai wearing sunscreen.

He quickly flipped through the book and saw that his name was plastered all over the place.

There weren't any...? Dear God there were! Pictures of him! He looked up at Sakura who was smiling sweetly at him. He wasn't too sure he wanted to know where and when she'd got those pictures. Unless Jiraiya...? He shuddered violently at the thought.

"What do you think?" Sakura asked innocently. Kakashi said nothing.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure you get some of the royalties from the sales." Sakura said. "Would you like me to read the blurb?" She said, taking the book from Kakashi. She turned the book over and cleared her throat before reading, "The tale of one woman's erotic adventures as a kunoichi, conquering love and doing it in style. The object of her desire - that's you." She added, looking up at Kakashi. "Is the cool, calm and collected –"

Sakura read on but Kakashi had been hit like a ton of bricks with a realisation. Gai had read this?! Was that what Naruto had been spluttering about?!  
Sakura finished reading and looked up into Kakashi's horror stricken face and tried not to laugh.

"Kakashi!" The man stilled. It was Jiraiya. "You've seen the new book, have you? It's already a best seller." He laughed.

Kakashi turned slowly around, almost robotic, a maniacal look on his face. It was reminiscent of Sakura when Konohamaru had been wrong to mention her big forehead all those years ago. Jiraiya was walking happily towards them but froze when he saw the look on his face. Tsunade, who had been following close behind, bumped into Jiraiya. Kakashi's eye twitched at seeing that she was reading the book too!

Tsunade looked over to him and smirked. "Ahh... Kakashi. I've gotta say, this is some of Jiraiya's best work. I'm glad he agreed to it when Sakura pitched the idea. It's about time us girls got a piece of the action. And I have to say..." She held up the book before her eyes and turned it on a slight angle, then looked over at him. "If you were at least twenty years older, I'd be all over you like a rash."

Kakashi snapped.

"Jiraiya?" He said as cooly as possible, but if looks could kill...

Jiraiya wasn't too sure what to do. Clutching at straws, he pointed up at the sky behind Kakashi and said, "Hey look, what the hell is that?"

It didn't work.


End file.
